Big Brother - World Version
by SoggyTeabags
Summary: Hilarity and trouble ensues when representatives of the countries of the world are locked away together in a house for three months. Fights and arguments are guaranteed, and some romance too? In the end, there can only be one winner.. Based on the TV Game Show 'Big Brother'. Many pairings will spring up, eventual USUK, light FrUk, Franada, light GerIta, SuFin and a few surprises...
1. Episode 1, Day 0

**Hello! Well then, this is going to be a pretty big project for me. It started as an idea for my creative writing class, then I decided to go deeper into it and make a full blown Hetalia version of the TV Game show, Big Brother for all you lovley people.**

******(If you want to skip the introductories of the housemates, go straight to day 1, as this part is just introducing you to the housemates and the house.)**

**To make it slightly more realistic, I'd like to try and introduce an idea of mine.**

**Starting from Episode 6 (which will be day 5 in the Big Brother house) I'd like to start having you vote for who you would like to be evicted. Here in the UK, the public decides who gets evicted from the house. As I progress through this, I'll have our host, Gilbert inform you all in more detaial about this and how it will work.**

**But for now, here's the first episode of Big Brother Hetalia!**

* * *

The sky darkened and the air began to get a little chilly as it drew closer to 9pm. Thousands, if not tens of thousands, were gathered outside of the Big Brother house, awaiting the arrival of their host, Gilbert Beilschmidt. Conversations in almost every language known were being had at this current point in time, the crowd anxious to find out who the lucky 18 housemates were going to be. Suddenly an insanely huge screen lit up on the side of the house, displaying numbers which were counting down from 60. A little group of babbling Italians began to chant along with the descending numbers, shortly followed by more and more people, the chants growing louder as the seconds ticked by.

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

A door slid open at the top of a set of thin metal steps, and out stepped their host for the evening, dressed in silver suit and blue bow-tie, followed by a plume of smoke. Ear piercing cheers and screams erupted from the crowd as Gilbert bounced his way down the steps and onto the stage infront of the house. He stopped in the middle of the stage, just staring at the crowd, who in return silenced, expecting him to begin talking any second. But he just remained still and silent, scanning almost every face. Suddenly, with no warning, he held the microphone up to his mouth, and clenched his other hand in what seemed like a fist pump and shouted at the top of his voice;

"BIG BROTHER 2012 ARE YOU READY!?"

The crowd once again erupted, jumping and chanting, shouting words which could not be understood as more than one language crashed together at once.

"I'll take that as a yes then shall I? Alright! Let's get this thing started!" A huge grin spread across his face as he made his way over to the barrel in the centre of the stage. It resembled a tombola drum, and everyone in the crowd knew what was inside. Gilbert stepped forward and gave it a dramatic spin. Once it had stopped rotating, he opened the hatch, fumbled around inside, and drew out a small, neatly folded, square piece of paper. The first housemate. Opening it slowly and glancing up at the crowd, his cheerful grin now replaced with a smirk as he took his time revealing the name, knowing the effect his actions would be having on the soon to be Big Brother 2012 housemates.

"And the first housemate is…" he paused,

"FRANCIS BONNEFOY!"

The Frenchman's jaw dropped at the hearing of his name. His friends around him hugged and congratulated him and pushed him towards the steps leading to the stage. He couldn't believe it. He, Francis Bonnefoy was the first housemate!

He stepped onto the stage, running a hand through his golden locks, and pausing as photographers went to take his picture for the magazine feature. As he was striking poses, Gilbert spoke into the camera, his face appearing on the large screen, and most probably every television set tuned in for the live opening, informing the world about Housemate number 1.

"Well, there ya go! Housemate number 1. Francis Bonnefoy Aged 24 from Paris, France. He claims to have a way with both women AND men," he said, raising an eyebrow, "and says he enjoys sipping red wine while engaging in conversation. Aw."

Turing to face the Frenchman who was now approaching him, Gilbert shook his hand, welcoming him to the Big Brother house, which would now be his home for the next three months.

"How does it feel to be the first housemate Francis!? Must be pretty awesome right?" Gilbert practically shouted, thrusting the microphone in the other man's face.

"Quite, but not as awesome as you mon ami~." Francis winked at Gilbert, picking up on one of his most famous catchphrases, which he was known across the globe for. The crowd laughed.

"Nothing can be as awesome as me. Not even BIG BROTHER 2012?! Give it up everybody for Franciiiiiiiis Bonnefoy!" He yelled and held Francis' arm up in the air, who waved his free arm around a little and blew a kiss at the crowd, before ascending up the stairs leading the house entrance.

The door glided open, and Francis took a step inside, turning on his heel to take one final look at the outside world, before it was sealed away for the next three months. Upon entering the house, he immediately came to another flight of stairs, of which were heading down this time. Jogging down them he found himself in a narrow corridor. All of the walls but one were made of glass; the odd wall was plastered white with a long mirror running across it. Looking into the mirror to fix his hair slightly, Francis noticed a door in the reflection behind him. The door was tucked neatly under the flight of stairs that he came down into the house from. On it was a picture of a gigantic eye.

"Big Brother really is watching our every move…" he muttered to himself before swinging open the glass door and entering the main living area.

Being the first in the house was great. He got the chance to see and explore everything before the other housemates did. He'd even get to be the first to choose which bed he wanted.

Sitting down on the sofa in the living room and taking a glass of champagne from the table to his right, he examined the rest of the house. From his position he could see out into the garden, the kitchen and the bathroom. The garden was grassy and spacious, and contained a small hot tub style pool. A smoking area was to the back of the garden, with a thatched canopy covering in case of rain. Towards the left of the garden, almost hidden from sight, was what looked like a life size bird house. Francis could only wonder what that was.

Now the kitchen wasn't so big. A large, lightly coloured wooden table stood proudly in the middle, definitely big enough to seat 18 people. All around the edges of the room were worktops littered with different appliances. A small cupboard door stood next to the fridge, and the oven was in the wall next to them both. Once again the walls of this room where glass. There would be no hiding in the Big Brother house.

The bathroom was simple. Shower heads stuck out from the wall, in little glass cubicles, a long row of sinks lined one wall, and a large bubble bath took up most of the right hand corner. A door lead off into the back of the bathroom, where one could only guess that was where the toilet was. Probably the only place of privacy in the house.

Lastly, the room in which he sat, The bedroom was currently out of bounds as the door was closed and locked, and the shutters were down. Looking up at the ceiling, he noted it was decorated in a pattern containing every single flag from every single country. The colours looked pretty, and gave a nice vibe to the room. The world was literally all under one roof.

The sofa on which he sat was large, long and pale green. It curled around in a 'C' shape with heaps of cushions strewn across it. The carpet was a light grey with a hint of lilac. Random bean-bags and large cushions dotted the floor. All in all, the house was very modern, yet classy and homely. "I could get used to living here..." Francis sighed as his rested his head on the back of the sofa and threw one arm over its back, one leg crossed over the other.

* * *

Back outside in the real world, the second name has been drawn from the barrel.

Antonio Fernández Carriedo, a 25 year old from Spain was currently bouncing up onto the stage to greet their host. His green eyes sparkled in excitement.

"Antonio! How do you feel? Nervous? Excited? You tell us!" Gilbert said, this time thrusting the microphone into the face of the Spaniard.

"I dunno man, I really can't explain this feeling!" he breathed breathlessly, his Spanish accent thick. "I'm excited, thrilled even, I can tell you that. But I really can't explain my feelings right now!" He pulled at the loose collar on his red shirt and grinned nervously, exposing a little more of the toned, tanned skin hidden underneath.

"Awesome! Well, Good Luck! Antonio Fernández Carriedoooo!" Gilbert shouted after Antonio as he bounded up the steps and into the house, not once looking back.

Almost jumping down the stairs two at a time, he reached the glass, but couldn't seem to find where the door handle was in all his excitement. Plus, it didn't help that the entire thing was made from glass. Chuckling to himself, Francis stood up to go and help out his new housemate, swinging the door open for the small brunette on the other side.

Antonio laughed and shook Francis hand before joining him on the sofa, taking a glass of champagne for himself.

The two were idly chatting when they were interrupted by heavy footsteps clambering down the stairs and into the house. Looking up, the pair set eyes upon a tall young man with sandy blonde hair and glasses coming at them. He jumped onto the sofa next to them with a lot of force, it cause a little champagne to spill from Antonio's glass.

"Dude. I'm in the freaking Big Brother house. WE'RE in the freaking big brother house. Isn't this just totally awesome!?

American. The first word that sprang to both the Frenchman and the Spaniards mind when trying to describe their newest arrival.

* * *

Around half an hour had passed, and now there sat nine people on the sofa, some sipping champagne, some not.

So far the housemates were Francis and Antonio, housemates 1 and 2. Alfred F. Jones, the 19 year old American and housemate number 3. Lovino and Feliciano Vargas, the 20 year old Italian twins, housemates 4 and 5. Laura Verberke, the pretty 19 year old from Belgium, who was housemate number 6. Mathais Densen, the 24 year old from Denmark, housemate number 7. Ivan Braginski, the tall and scary looking, yet quiet 25 year old Russian, housemate number 8, and lastly, the small and quiet Japanese man, aged 30, housemate number 10. The group was beginning to become a little louder, and the topics of conversation had greater range. Francis was busy bragging how he was first into the house to Antonio and Mathais, while chatting Laura up at the same time, who simply giggled, finding it somewhat amusing.

Ivan was trying to make conversation with Alfred, who was a little intimidated by the brute of a Russian, but would refuse to show it. He'd already demonstrated to the house that he was most likely going to be the trouble maker and the joker of the group.

Lovino sat with a scowl on his face, while Feliciano tried to wipe it away. It seemed as though Lovino didn't want to be here, and he wished out without even getting to know any of the housemates beforehand. Feliciano on the other hand, was shouting out random questions for the group in between comforting words for Lovino.

Kiku sat quietly and just listened to the others talk. He liked to keep to himself and refrain from speaking, so he was just fine how he was.

* * *

Almost the first full hour of the programme was nearly up and 17 housemates currently sat on the sofa, awaiting the arrival of the 18th and final housemate. The majority of the group still couldn't seem to get their head around the fact that they were actually in the big brother house, one of the world's most popular game shows.

Back outside, the tombola drum spun for the last time. It slowly came to a complete stop, and Gilbert reached inside for the last time. Unfolding the paper, he took a deep breath before shouting at the top of his lungs:

"ARTHUR KIRKLAND!"

Silently proceeding up the steps, the young British gentleman simply smiled in spite of himself and loosened his tie slightly. After having his photo taken a few times, he made it up to Gilbert in centre stage.

"Well well well… how does it feel to be the last housemate chosen Arthur?" Gilbert grinned.

"Quite relieving actually. I was starting to think I wouldn't be what Big Brother was looking for in order to make the show entertaining.

"Well you were very wrong about that, let me tell you!"

"Oh?" Arthur questioned in return.

"There's been a slight plot twist my friend." Gilbert walked around the back of Arthur, setting a hand on his right shoulder. The blonde brit's gaze followed him, but said nothing, so Gilbert continued.

"To make things a little more fun, your first task begins right here, right now. Keskeskeskese."

Arthur shifted a little, feeling uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on him. "And what's my task?"

"You my good Sir, will be the Sabotage."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You'll be set a series of challenges by The Tree of Temptation, the small wooden cabinet in the bathroom, and you must complete these challenges without anyone finding out that it's you who did them. Failure to do the tasks, or if anyone finds out that it's you… you'll be evicted from the house. However, if you pass, you'll be recognised as an Official housemate, and will receive a reward at the end." He smirked. Oh, how he loved his job.

A wave of enthusiasm washed over Arthur, he'll show them he could do this, he deserved to be the last house mate, he wouldn't show himself up, he'd do Great Britain proud!

"Fine, whatever, I'll do it." He smiled and casually twirled a lock of blonde hair around his finger. "But what do you mean by 'Official Housemate?' Aren't I one already?"

"Not until you pass this task. You will eat on your own, sleep on your own, do everything on your own. If the housemates get curious as to why you're isolated, just make something up. But it has to be believable… You can't let them know you're the Sabotage now can you?"

"You're horrible. But we'll have to see what I come up with then now won't we?" with a quick flash of his teeth, he began to casually walk up the stairs and into the house, feeling pleased with the way he handled things, still managing to keep his gentlemanly character.

"What an entrance! Will Arthur be able to uphold that smooth attitude of his? Or crack under the pressure of his task? So that's it! All 18 housemates are in! To run through again, in order of housemate number, here are your housemates!"

Each name appeared on the screen as he read them, displaying a profile photo of each housemate and their housemate number.

"Francis Bonnefoy!

Antonio Carriedo!

Alfred Jones!

Lovino Vargas!

Feliciano Vargas!

Laura Verberke!

Mathais Densen!

Ivan Braginski!

Kiku Honda!

Wang Yao!

Matthew Williams!

Ludwig Beilschmidt!

Tino Väinämöinen!

Berwald Oxenstierna!

Toris Laurinaitis!

Elizabeta Héderváry!

Feliks Łukasiewicz!

And lastly, our special housemate, Arthur Kirkland!

We'll back back tomorrow at 9pm, with all the updates of the housemates first day in the house. Until then, Goodnight!"

* * *

**I hope I can actually go through with this. I get the feeling it's going to take a lot of work, so perhaps let me know in a review what you think, and if anyone would actually be willing to vote. That'd be much appreciated. :')**

**Votes will either be taken through PM's or Reviews, I haven't decided which yet, so if you could also let me know which would be easier, that'd also help. Thank you!**


	2. Episode 2, Day 1

Just to help people out:

**_"If things are written like this,"_**It's the narrator, or voice-over, whatever.

"_Or if it's written like this," _It's Big Brother speaking to the housemates either through the Diary Room, or the Intercom.

**Thank you for Clicking and I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. :)**

**-SoggyTeabags.**

* * *

Day 1 – Saturday 18th August 2012.

10:06pm

**"****_All of the housemates are in the living room."_**

**_"Feliks has called everyone's attention to him, and is going over sleeping arrangements."_**

"So, like, what are everyone's sexual preferences?"

A few of the housemates spluttered at the sudden question, the others gaping at the Polish man who stood in the middle of the room, his hands on his hips looking deadly serious.

"I beg your pardon? And who are you to go and just ask a question like that straight up?" Arthur replied, unamused.

"I just need to know so I can like, make sure the person sharing a bed with me won't like, try it on with me, 'cause that wouldn't be cool." Feliks replied simply with a shrug of the shoulders.

"Just because someone is gay, that doesn't mean they'll get onto any man they can see… We're all complete strangers anyway, so I don't see what the problem is regarding sexual preferences, aru…" Yao spoke up for the first time that night. All of the other housemates nodding in approval of his remark.

"Yeah, I know that. Duh. I was just making sure. I already know who I want."

Everyone looked either slightly worried, or alarmed by the sudden declaration. What kind of person Feliks was, was now displayed clearly to the housemates.

Pointing at Toris, Feliks made his decision clear.

"W-what? I- you can't be being serious right now?" Toris stuttered, unsure of what to say.

Mathias and Francis simply chuckled from their position at the end of the sofa. Suddenly, the shutters were lifted, allowing the bedroom to finally be seen by the housemates. Through the glass door they could see that the room was long, with double beds lining both walls. Feliks was the first to enter to room, but stopping suddenly in the doorway when he spotted something upon the bed.

Kiku edged past him and picked up a piece of folded card on the nearest bed. Unfolding it he read two names aloud.

"Ivan and Toris. I am guessing that Big Brother has aready chosen where each housemate wir sreep. Ivan and Toris, this bed berongs to you." Kiku announced quietly, handing the card to Toris.

Immediately everyone began searching furiously for their name written on a card. Some eager and some anxious to see who their sleeping partner was.

Mathias was the first to find his name, and saw that he was paired with Laura. "_Sweet!_" he cheered triumphantly to himself. Laura didn't seem to phased either when she found out who she would be sharing a bed with, she had already become friends with the Dane, so was quite pleased.

Next to find their name was Elizabeta. 'Elizabeta & Matthew' the card read. Smiling over at the shy Canadian stood on the other side of the room, she flashed the names written on the card in his direction. Slowly he made his way over, the pink tinge on his cheeks growing with every step. Elizabeta laughed heartily and poked him in the shoulder lightly. "We could always swap with someone when everyone's found out who they're to sleep with, but I'm married if that makes you feel any better." She smiled again, this time wiggling her ring finger at Matthew, the beautiful ring sparking a little. "Oh, I see. N-no, it didn't bother me at all. Married or un-married." He too cracked a small, embarrassed smile.

"Call me Lizzy." She held out a hand, which Matthew took and gladly shook. "Mattie."

* * *

Once everyone had found who they were sleeping with, some re-arrangements had been made in order to stop world war III from breaking out.

Lovino refused to share with Ludwig, stating that he'd 'rather be dead than sleep with a potato bastard.' So he was now sleeping with his brother, Feliciano.

In the end, Feliks got paired up with Francis, none of the housemates new how this would end, and not many wanted to know.

Tino was to share the bed with Berwald, and to tell the truth, he was completely terrified. He didn't seem like a bad guy, just… intimidating. He hadn't said a single word upon entering the house, and no matter how many times Tino tried to get someone to swap with him, each attempt ended in failure.

Everyone seemed to have a partner, all except Arthur. Why, he didn't even have a bed. Yao was to sleep on his own, and was only given a single bed. Arthur stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. '_Shit. This is part of my task isn't it?_'

"Wait, where will you sleep Artie?" questioned Alfred, as if Arthur knew perfectly well why he didn't seem to have a bed. Arthur simply felt his eye twitch at the petty nickname given by basically a complete stranger he'd met only a half hour ago.

"I don't kn-"

"You can always sleep with us, the more the merrier! Onhonhonhon~" Francis declared from where he was sprawled out over his bed.

"In your dreams, frog!" Oh how he despised French people. "Apparently they've forgotten to give me a bed. It's obviously a mistake. I'll take the couch until further notice." And with that, he left the room and headed to the bathroom.

"It's strange that they forgot to give him a bed…" Yao spoke up.

"Yes, it is very weird. Missing out someone's bed is something that I can imagine is hard to mess up on. It's not hard to count to eighteen. Poor Arthur, he must feel so silly." Came a reply from Tino, with a slight shake of his head.

Most of the housemates had left the room by now, following Arthur's example and going off to do their own thing, leaving Tino, Yao, Laura and Matthew in the bedroom.

* * *

10:27pm

**_"Alfred, Francis, Mathias, and Antonio are in the living room, talking about Matthew."_**

"That's exactly what I thought! When he walked in I was wondering why he hadn't walked in with you like those two Italians did. I really did think he was your brother man!" Antonio said to Alfred. Francis nodded in agreement.

"Oui, it is so weird how the two of you look so alike. It's like 'aving to pairs of twins in the 'ouse!"

"Yeah, I know it is kinda weird isn't it… Maybe he's like a long lost relative or something! It's possible. He's American, I'm American, same country, so ya never know." Alfred tapped the side of his nose.

"You lot are so ignorant. There's only one American in the house that I know of, and that's blondie over here." Elizabeta came wandering from the kitchen and seated herself next to where Alfred was practically lay across the sofa, arms and legs spread out in all different directions. "Matthew's Canadian."

"I knew it!" Francis exclaimed, jumping up from where he was sat suddenly.

Mathais blinked up at Francis, the glanced over to Antonio, raising an eyebrow. Antonio shrugged in return.

"He 'as French blood in him. I could tell." Francis reasoned, folding his arms across his chest.

"You could… tell? Like, just by looking at him? Dude. That sounds kinda creepy, you know that right?" Alfred said; a smirk on his face.

"What can I say? The French are creepy people." Mathias stated, earning a glare from Francis. Antonio stood up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen, laughing to himself.

* * *

Feliciano and Ludwig were already seated at the kitchen table when Antonio walked in.

"Hola Amigo's. Wassup?" he greeted them, walking over to the fridge, opening it to find it empty. Kicking the door shut with his foot, he leaned against the worktops, facing Ludwig and Feliciano.

"Ciao~ we were just talking about food! What a coincidence that you came in here looking for food! Do you like pasta? ~" Feliciano pretty much sang. Ludwig scoffed at how simple and carefree his new friend sounded.

"Oh, yeah, Pasta is good. We should cook it for a group meal one day huh?"

"Yeah! I know how to make all kinds of pasta! We could do themes too! We should have each person cook a food from their country! Oh Ludwig doesn't that sound fun?!" Feliciano leaned closer to Ludwig, shoving his face into the others. Somehow, Ludwig didn't seem bothered by all the close attention he was receiving from the happy Italian. Actually, for once it felt good to have someone converse with him without being intimidated by him to the point where they try to avoid carrying on the conversation.

"Ja, that vould be good."

* * *

10:38pm

"**_Arthur is in the bathroom."_**

Arthur stood over the basin sorting out his wash bag. He separated his wash cloth and toothbrush from his packets of cigarettes, placing them next to the sink to the far left in the corner of the room. This simple action meant that this sink was now his. In all of the previous shows, this is how housemates set up their bathroom supplies, and by doing this, other housemates knew who's washbag was who's, so Arthur simply did as they had done. Putting the packets into his pocket, he headed for the door in desperate need for a cigarette.

"Pssst!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around to see who else was there. Looking puzzled he reached for the door handle again.

"Oi! Don't ignore me! C'mere shorty."

Arthur marched back into the centre of the bathroom, now a little annoyed. Looking around the bathroom in search of who else was there. Then, his eyes set upon a small wooden cabinet. "You."

"Yes me you daft Limey."

"Hey! Don't you dare think you can ju-"

"Shut up and listen to me. You wanna pass this task right? And become a proper housemate?" The Tree of Temptation spoke, it's voice was a mix between many dialects, the most noticeable were a heavy southern American accent and an English accent.

"Well, yes, but-"

"No but's. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you and make these tasks somewhat possible for you to do without getting caught."

"Fine, fine, but don't call me a Limey."

"I'll call you a Limey if I want, Limey. Now. Your first task. I want you to cut up everyone's cigarettes but your own."

"What? But it'll be plainly obvious that I destroyed their cigarettes if I'm the only one who's hasn't been touched."

* * *

From outside the bathroom, Lovino was walking past, heading to the bedroom. Glancing in through the glass walls of the bathroom, he caught sight of Arthur sat on the side of the bath. He appeared to be talking to himself, as Lovino couldn't hear what was going on through the wall. Shaking his head as he walked into the bedroom, he caught the attention of Tino.

"What's wrong?"

"That British guy. He's sat in the bathroom talking to himself. He's crazy I tell you."

Lovino flopped down on his bed, propping his head up on the head rest, he lay with his arms across his chest.

"What? Surely he's not crazy… Are you sure there was no-one else in the bathroom with him?"

"I'm sure. He's a lunatic."

"Maybe that's why they didn't give him a bed to sleep in here with the rest of us, He's a phsyco!" Laura gasped.

"I'm sure he has his reason. We should not judge him for now, aru." Yao added.

* * *

Back in the bathroom, Arthur was confirming his task with the Tree of Temptation.

"So I'll just try and pin it on another housemate who doesn't smoke."

"Smart thinkin'. You're a bit of an asshole, but I like you. Go in my top draw and you'll find a pair of scissors. Use those to cut up the cigarettes."

Arthur slowly opened the draw and took out the scissors, sliding them up his shirt sleeve so he could hide them from the other housemates.

"But how will I know who else smokes?"

"If I tell you that, I'll basically be doing this task for you. Now fuck off and leave me in peace."

"…wanker." Arthur muttered as he left the room.

* * *

Heading out into the artificially lit garden, Arthur seated himself on the bench underneath the smoking area's canopy, and lit himself a cigarette. Taking a long drag he leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. "_I wonder who else smokes… And who can I plant this whole thing on?"_ He muttered to himself.

As if on cue, Alfred came bounding out of the door, sliding across the grass in his socks, shoes long forgotten about and flopped down on the bench next to Arthur.

Taking this as an opportunity to find out who smoked and who didn't, he flipped open his box of _Mayfair Extra _and offered one to Alfred.

"Nah, sorry dude. I don't smoke. But thanks!" a huge grin spread across his face.

"So why are you out here then?" Arthur took another drag, then blew a ring shaped puff of smoke from his mouth, showing off a little.

"Just wanted a little talk. Get to know people better. If I'm gonna be livin' with y'all for months then I might as well make friends with everyone huh?"

"I suppose that's true…"

Silence hung around them for the next few minutes. Arthur finished his cigarette and was about to get up to go back to the house when Alfred spoke up.

"How come you're not sleeping with the rest of us?"

"I'm not quite sure. I put on my application form that I prefer to be alone when I can, so maybe they meant to put in a single bed for me, but made a mistake and didn't put in another as there would be odd numbers, and that Chinese bloke got my bed by accident." He said with a shrug of the shoulders. "I'm not quite sure to be honest."

"Oh… Okay."

Unsure whether or not to wait a little longer to see if Alfred has anything else to say or head back to the house, he sort of stood awkwardly in the middle of the garden.

Francis spared the moment by strolling out casually and taking a seat by Alfred, lighting a cigarette of his own. Arthur simply grinned a little, obviously relieved on finding out who the first other smoker besides himself was, and headed back to the house.

* * *

11:14pm

**_"Alfred has come to the Diary Room."_**

Alfred flopped down on the chair in the middle of the room, turning around to observe it a little. The seat itself was egg shaped and made from glass, a single white cushion rested on it. Coming from the back of it was a huge pair of magnificent golden wings, similar to those seen on an angel. Alfred ran his hands along one of them; it was made of metal. The walls and ceiling were papered blue with clouds on. It looked very much like the sky on a summer's day.

"Dude, this chair is awesome! I want one in my house. Oh my god I could happily sit and play video games in this all day." Alfred said, obviously excited by the chair.

"_Hello Alfred."_

"Hey Big Brother!"

_"Alfred, why have you come to the diary room?"_

"I dunno really. Nobody's used it yet so I thought I'd be the first." He laughed a little and shuffled around in his seat.

"_What do you think of the housemates so far Alfred?"_

"They're pretty cool actually! I love how we're all from across the world and stuff. It's like playing a video game online where you can talk to people from like, anywhere. Like, say when a British guy comes on the microphone, and he's all posh and stuff when you're whooping his ass. It's gonna be like that when I beat everyone at tasks!" Alfred laughed in spite of himself.

"_So you like video games?"_

"Hell yea, I love 'em. Shame I won't be able to play any for like, three months. Well, maybe not three, depends when I get evicted don't it?"

_"And what do you think of Arthur?"_

"Hahahaha, you asked me this 'cause I was talking 'bout British guys didn't you?" Alfred grinned.

"He's pretty awesome. I haven't spoke to him much. But I'd like to get to know him a bit more y'know. He's awesome."

"_Is there anything else you'd like to talk about Alfred?"_

"Nah, I think I'm good."

"_Thank you Alfred. The diary room door is now open."_

"Nice chatting with ya!"

Alfred opened the door and left the diary room, jogging down the corridor, through the door, and leaping over the back of the sofa. Kiku and Ludwig were already seated on the sofa, and were startled by Alfred's sudden appearance.

"Oh, Alfred-san. Why were you in the diary room? Did you get called there?"

"Nah, I just went in. Man it's awesome. I wanna take that chair home with me! I feel like the American eagle or something when I sit in it!"

* * *

11:26pm

"**_Most of the housemates are in bed."_**

Tino shuffled a little in the bed, trying to scoot a little further away from Berwald, who was eerily close to him, practically breathing down his neck.

Loud snores where coming from Matthew and Elizebeta's bed, though unable to tell who they were coming from. Although Elizabeta wasn't the most lady-like of women, she didn't seem the type to snore so loud. And Matthew was barely heard when he spoke usually, so for such loud snores to be coming from such a quiet person deemed almost impossible.

Mathais and Laura slept peacefully, as did Yao.

Alfred was sprawled out all across the bed, leaving poor Kiku hanging onto the edge of the bed with dear life to save himself from falling out.

Arthur slept calmly on the sofa, hugging one of the large pillows to his chest.

Francis came wandering out of the kitchen, yawning and heading for the bedroom. Making his way past the sofa, he caught sight of the sleeping Arthur. He felt sorry for the little Brit, it must be pretty embarrassing not having a bed to sleep in, and no blanket either.

Heading into the bedroom, he returned moments later with his dressing gown. He draped the fluffy dark red robe around the sleeping man gently, tucking it in a little around his sides to keep him from the draft.

Francis changed quietly, then climbed into bed. After a few moments, at 11:30, all of the lights in the bedroom were automatically turned off completely, so that everyone could sleep. The lights in the rest of the house remained on, but dimmed considerably, still allowing there to be light in case anyone awoke during the night. Day one in the Big Brother house was complete.

* * *

**Thank you for reading. **


	3. Episode 3, Day 2

**Hello! I just wanted to quickly say, I'm sorry for writing in accents, but it had to be done. With so many characters to write as, it was getting a little repetitive putting ****_"he said, she said, Alfred said_****" after most of the dialogue parts, so I had to fall back on things such as 'da', 'dude' and 'like, totally' to distinguish characters . (If "like" is said in a sentance more than once, it's probably Poland.)**

**If it get's a little annoying or confusing though, let me know and I'll change it up a bit. c:**

* * *

Day 2 – Sunday 19th August 2012.

09:47am

**_"Day two. All of the housemates are asleep."_**

Toris was the first to wake at the sound of the garden shutters being opened. Rolling out of bed, he padded softly through the house, still half asleep rubbing his eyes. Nearing the glass separating the house from the garden he noticed various pieces of equipment out there that weren't there last night.

A large goal post stood at the far end of the garden, and dotted around the whole perimeter of the garden were what looked like the raised seats in which the crowd sat at football games. Lined up along the glass window, just under where Toris stood, was a long, white, clothed table. Little flags on this table blew lightly in the wind. These flags were the flags of the home countries of all 18 housemates. Also on the table, was a piece of card, with some sort of instructions written on it.

Excited, Toris ran back into the bedroom. Unsure of who to wake first, he raised his voice a little and spoke to the entire company of the room.

"Um, excuse me guys, but please wake up!"

"What is it Toris?" Ivan spoke from his place on the bed.

"I woke up and I couldn't feel your warm little body."

Toris flushed in embarrassment at the comment. Although, come to think of it, it was true that Ivan seemed to like sleeping extremely close to him during the night… Whether it was just for comfort though he couldn't tell.

"They've finished setting up our first task I am thinking, take a look outside! It seems to be sport related."

Ivan shuffled around a little, and then dragged his huge frame out of bed.

Mathias and Laura were now awake in the bed next to Ivan and Toris.

"What's going on? What time is it?" Mathias sat up groggily.

"Come look outside, there is new things in the garden!"

"What for? The first task? Sweet! Time to kick some ass." Mathias grinned and threw the covers from both him and Laura.

"Thanks. I was cosy and warm there." She complained, though a small smile stuck on her lips.

"Sorry!" Mathias shouted from the living room, as he had already fled the bedroom.

"Hey, what's all the shouting?" Arthur grumbled from his place on the sofa. "It's still early morning and- Hey!" He ducked as Mathias scrambled over the back of the sofa in a rush to look at what was new in the garden and nearly landed on top of him.

"Woah, sorry. How come you're on the couch?"

Arthur opened his mouth to retort, but decided not to bother, as the Dane had obviously forgotten about the fact that Arthur didn't have a bed, and had clearly lost interest already, his face pressed to the window.

* * *

10:30am

**_"All of the housemates have been called into the garden for today's task."_**

Antonio had picked up the card from the table, and read it aloud.

"Housemates. Today's task will test your football skills – Or soccer for those Americans who have to be difficult-"

"Whoop!" Alfred cheered, receiving a glare from Ludwig.

"Carry on Antonio."

"Thank you, right where was I? Okay. Housemates will have two minutes to each score one goal. Sounds too easy? A world famous goalkeeper will be the Big Brother keeper for this morning! At the end of the two minutes, for every housemate left who didn't score a goal, €20 will be taken from the €500 shopping budget. The task will begin at the sound of the clackson, and footballs will appear from a machine in order of housemate number. Once a housemate has scored a goal, they are to sit in the stalls until the task is over. Good Luck housemates."

As soon as Antonio had read the last word, doors disguised in the wall in the far left corner of the garden's wall swing open and out came a line of people holding neatly folded clothes as if in procession. Each person set down their bundle of clothing on the table in front of an assigned flag. The housemates looked closer at the piles of clothing, and upon further inspection noticed that they were indeed football uniforms. Alfred was the first to pick up his uniform from beside the American flag. Unfolding the shirt and holding it up to his chest, the housemates saw that it resembled the American world cup football uniform. Across the back read 'Jones.'

"Dude this is awesome!"

Other housemates then excitedly began to pick theirs from the table, simply looking for their country's flag, then picking up the uniform beside it.

Once everyone had their kit in hand, all eyes were on Arthur, whose hands were empty. Glancing at the table, he failed to see a flag representing The United Kingdom.

"Looks like you'll be playing in your shirt and tie buddy." Alfred said to him, slapping him on the back, making Arthur splutter a little, shocked at the others strength.

"They missed you out again?" Elizabeta spoke up, looking a little concerned.

"It looks that way, but not to worry, I'll still give this task my all, we won't be down any money at all if I have anything to do with it!"

"I suppose we should change into these now then shall we?" said Francis, beginning to walk back to the house and into the bathroom. All of the other housemates followed his example, leaving Arthur stood in the garden.

* * *

They had all returned a few moments later and now stood in a line at the foot of the garden, Arthur the odd one out dressed in brown trousers, a white shirt and beige tie.

Silence lingered in the air for a few moments before a figure appeared in the doorway at the back of garden. Housemates squinted a little to try and see who it was. When the figure stepped out of the doorway and into the garden, most of the housemates cheered, especially Arthur. Joe Hart, the keeper for the England football team strolled out and took his place infront of the goal.

"Give it your best housemates!" Joe said with a cocky grin.

The clackson sounded, and a football rolled out from a machine next to the line of housemates. The ball was white in colour with the French flag plastered upon it. Francis stepped forward and gave the ball a hard kick. It flew straight for the goal, but Joe was too quick to catch it. "_Baise l'enfer!"_ Francis muttered under his breath as he re-joined the line again. Next up was Antonio. The Spaniard approached the ball slowly, this time the machine had produced a ball which pictured the Spanish flag, then gave it a powerful kick, slamming it into the top right hand corner of the goal.

"Yesss!~" Antonio ran around the back of the back of the stalls and took a seat right at the top.

Alfred was next to take his shot. Kicking it with even more power than Antonio, but he missed, joining Francis at the back of the line.

Feliciano, Lovino, Laura and Mathias all took their turns, and missed, before another goal was finally scored.

Ivan kicked the ball with such force, Joe practically jumped out of the way.

"Wow. That was quite a shot!" Joe breathed, laughing a little. "Ever thought of pursuing a career in football?"

"I have, but I think I would crush the other team." After receiving some strange looks by the other housemates, he quickly added; "By accident of course." And took a seat next to Antonio.

Joe looked a little sceptical by the remark, but said nothing and readied himself for the next housemate.

Kiku took his shot, and missed. Yao took his shot, and missed. Matthew took his shot, and missed. Ludwig took his shot, and scored. Tino took his shot, and missed. Berwald took his shot, and scored. Toris took his shot, and missed. Elizabeta took her shot, and missed. Feliks took his shot, and missed. Lastly, Arthur took his shot, and sadly missed.

On the whole, the task wasn't really going too well.

By the time the clackson sounded, overall only 7 housemates had scored a goal, after each housemate having nearly three attempts each, leaving the final shopping budget at €280.

"Good work housemates. I tried to go easy on you, but hey, Football certainly isn't for all of you." Joe said with a chuckle. "You on the other hand though. I wouldn't be surprised if I see you on the Russian team in 2014!" he pointed to Ivan before waving the housemates off and leaving through the door he had arrived through.

Antonio, Ivan, Ludwig, Berwald, Mathias, Alfred and Arthur stepped down from the stalls and re-joined the rest of the house, the unsuccessful housemates congratulating the successful.

* * *

11:04am

**_"Housemates are gathered in the living room. They have been given a list of food they can buy, a large chalkboard and a piece of chalk to write down their shopping list. Their overall budget after completing the task, is €280. Once they have their list one housemate is to go into the diary room and order their shopping."_**

"Well, first things first I think we should buy all of the essentials first before settling on the luxuries."

"Toris is right. I know how much we'd all love a good cake or some alcohol, but we're living communally now, so we need to buy food that will keep us going. We can't be going hungry. Lots of proteins and carbohydrates shou-"

"Ve!~ Like pasta! Pasta is carbohydrates!" Feliciano interrupted Elizabeta.

"Yah yah, like Pasta. If we write zat on the list will zat keep you quiet vhile we sort out vhat food we need?"

"Yes, sorry. Okay I'll be quiet now ~."

"Var good. Now. Nobody here is a vegetarian?" Ludwig said, taking charge.

"No, but can I just interrupt for one moment please?"

"Vhat is it Arthur?"

"Well, I'd just like to know how many of us in the house are smokers? Just in case one of us runs out, we needn't buy cigarettes if another housemate can lend theirs out. That way we'll be saving money."

"Good point. Raise your hand if you smoke." Ludwig ordered.

Several hands went up.

"Alright, so that's Francis, Mathais, Lovino, Berwald and Myself. Smashing. Thank you Ludwig." Arthur said after the quick head count of the smokers. Before sitting down he felt in his back pocket to make sure that the scissors were still there. They were.

"Okay. Now zhat's out of the way. We should order three loaves of bread or four?"

"Four." A few of the housemates chorused at once.

"Four loaves of bread it is. Tino, would you?"

Tino took the duty or writing on the chalkboard exactly what foodstuffs the house wanted, before taking it into the Diary room when the list was complete.

* * *

11:42am

**_"Tino is in the diary room ordering the shopping."_**

"We didn't have a calculator, so we did our best adding everything up. I've had orders to stock in some alcohol if we have any money left over, so would you be able to let me know if we've gone over our budget, or if we have anything left?"

_"Yes, Big Brother will be able to do that. Now, Tino. Would you please read out the entire shopping list, stating the item name, item number, and how many lots of that item you need."_

"Okay. Here we go. Hovis wholemeal bread, number 022, times four. Free range eggs, number 386, times four. Flora margarine, number 406, times two. Un-Smoked Bacon strips, number 223, times five. Mr. Kipling cream cakes, num-"

"_I'm sorry Tino. Could you repeat your last item please?"_

Tino sighed, but kept a smile on his face. He knew this would be a long process, but as long as they got food at the end of it, he wouldn't let it bother him.

"Sure. Un-Smoked Bacon strips, number 223, times five…."

* * *

12:01pm

**_"Tino has been in the diary room for a total of nineteen minutes. Most of the housemates are in the living room, talking about Tino."_**

"He's always so happy, don't you think?" Mathias said, taking a sip of water from a glass.

"Yeah, but it's way better to have a cheerful person than a grumpy person right?" Alfred reasoned, receiving nods of agreement from other housemates.

"What do you all think about Berwald?" Toris said lowly, in case Berwald was listening from somewhere in the house.

Alfred, Yao, Mathias and Feliciano all started to talk at once.

"I dunno dude, the guy's hardly said a word! Y'know, I don't even think I've heard him speak at all yet. Not around me anyway."

"Me either. He seems to have a thing for Tino though aru."

"Yeah, I was thinking that~" Feliciano sang.

"Let's not judge him for now. He might be a nice guy. And I don't see why anyone wouldn't fall for Tino. He's a really swell guy." Laura spoke up.

Mathias sent wiggling eyebrows in her direction.

Laura simply rolled her eyes, "Why does everything I say give you the wrong idea Mathais?"

The diary room door glided open and out stepped Tino, running a hand through his hair looking a little flustered he entered the living room.

"How'd it go Tino? Did we get any beer?!" Mathais practically begged the answer from the small Finnish man, kneeling up on the sofa and leaning over the back of it so far he almost fell head first.

"Sadly, no we did not. I had to get rid of three of the multipack crisps as we went over our budget a little." Tino smiled a shy grin in apology.

"Aw dude! Not the chips!"

"I'm afraid so Alfred. But that's all I had to cross off. I felt really bad that I couldn't consult any of you guys either, I just had to go with what I thought not many people would miss if I got rid of it." Tino said, sitting down on the couch between Mathias and Laura.

"Don't sweat it. It's only chips… I'll… I'll get over it." Alfred began to pretend to cry at his loss of potato chips, receiving a light poke in the side from Tino.

* * *

1:36pm

"_This is Big Brother. Housemates shopping has now arrived, and is in the storage room."_

Big Brother announced to the housemates through the intercom. Housemates ran from all over the house to the storage room. None of them had eaten properly, apart from the cereal provided by Big Brother that morning.

Lovino was the first to enter the room.

"Oh look, Potato Bastard! It's heaven for you in here!"

"Dude why've got so many bags of Potatoes?!" Alfred shouted, yanking several heavy bags of potatoes from the bottom shelf.

"You can make your own Potato Chips now, da!"

"No, but like, seriously. Why did we order so many potatoes? Too many carbohydrates are like, totally bad for you."

"It must have been a mistake. I thought that the price didn't seem right…" Tino said apologetically.

"So we COULD have had beer! But nuh-uh, we had to go and order a million bags of potatoes!" Mathais complained, obviously not as amused about the potato situation as other housemates were.

Francis clapped his hands in order to silence everyone. "I don't know about you, but I'm 'ungry. We should actually make some food instead of standing 'ere gawking at it."

Housemates nodded in agreement, and one by one, left the storage room and took their seats at the table.

Francis remained standing and stood at the head of the table.

"Now. Who can cook and who cannot? Raise your 'and if you can cook and will be willing to cook for ze 'ouse."

Kiku, Elizabeta, Alfred, Arthur, Toris, Yao, Feliciano and Tino all raised their hands.

"Eight of you? Well, nine including me, but really? Out of eighteen of us? Zat is absurd." Francis said with a shake of his head.

"I vouldn't complain if I were you Francy Pants. With less people wanting to cook, the better. That vay there isn't much arguing. We can have a different cook on each day of ze veek perhaps."

"Yeah, listen to the Potato Bastard. Why don't we have him cook tonight? Then we could get rid of all of those potatoes seeing as that's probably all he knows how to cook." Lovino muttered, slouching further down into his chair and pressing his arms to his chest.

"Listen. I don't know vhat you've got against me, but I'd like to cast a vote to see who vould like to cook tonight."

"That's a good idea. Why don't we set a rotor or something? That way, we can have a different cook each day." Toris suggested.

"Ja. Zat's good. Vhy don't we do it in order of housemate number? Zat way it's fair."

"So that makes me tonight's chef then, non?" Francis said with a flip of his hair.

"Vell, you are housemate number one, are you not?"

"Oui~" Francis began to head back to the storage room, rolling up his shirt sleeves.

"I'll call you all to dinner when it's ready!" Housemates then began leaving the kitchen one by one. Mathias heading off to the garden with Lovino, Laura and Ivan, The newly formed Trio of Ludwig, Kiku and Feliciano sat down on the sofa and began to argue amongst themselves about something. Arthur headed into the bedroom dressing area, followed by the pestering Alfred. Everyone seemed to have a place to go or someone talk to. Well at least it seemed like everyone…

But when Francis returned from the storage room, his arms full of all kinds of foodstuffs, his gaze fell upon someone seated alone at the table.

"Alfred? Are you alright there?" He said, turning his back to 'Alfred' and began to chop some onions.

"I'm not Alfred."

Francis raised an eyebrow and turned around. This person didn't sound like Alfred, nor did he look like him upon closer inspection. His hair was a little lighter and longer. His glasses were more rounded and his eyes a different colour.

Francis stumbled over his words trying to place a name to the face. "Martin?"

"Matthew."

Francis' face softened in apology. "Sorry about that Mon Cher, I still 'aven't memorised everyone's names yet."

"That's okay. I'm used to people forgetting my name." He said with a slight chuckle.

"So what're you making?" Matthew got up and came and stood by Francis, peering over his shoulder to observe the chopping board; he was a few inches taller than the Frenchman.

"Just a simple roast, but with plenty of 'erbs and sauces. I thought I would use up the potatoes, so I will use those to make mashed potatoes, roast potatoes and boiled potatoes, along with mixed vegetables and the chicken breasts that we ordered. That way people can't be fussy with three choices of potato. Surely they'll like one or the other."

Matthew nodded but didn't say anything. There was silence for a while. Francis began to scrape the chopped onion into a frying pan and Matthew simply watched. After a few minutes Francis spoke up again.

"Do you want to 'elp me? I could use an extra pair of 'ands peeling these potatoes."

A smile crept onto Matthews lips.

"Sure." He took a potato from the plastic bag and a knife from the draw and began to peel, chatting idly with his new friend.

* * *

2:31pm

**_"Arthur is in the bathroom."_**

Seeing as the bathroom was empty, and everyone was either in the garden or somewhere else where they couldn't possibly see through the glass walls of the bathroom, Arthur took this as an opportunity to start searching for the cigarettes he was to destroy.

Finding Mathias' wasn't hard. The contents of his bag were spilled all over his sink space, the packet of cigarettes practically smiling up at him. After looking around to double check nobody was watching him, he picked them up and slipped them into his back pocket, pulling his sweater vest down a little to hide the square bulge. Hopefully that would let the stolen cigarettes go un-noticed unless someone tried to touch his arse, which would most definitely not be happening anytime soon, Arthur told himself.

Lovino currently had his cigarettes on him. He was smoking earlier when he left the kitchen and had not returned to the bathroom since.

By snooping around a little he managed to find the bags of the remaining smokers; Francis and Berwald, and swipe their cigarettes. Now all he had to do was cut them up quickly in case one of them came in and realised their cigarettes were missing.

But before setting to work, he decided it would be easier if he had all four packets at the same time.

After a quick trip to the garden, Arthur returned with the 4th and final packet of cigarettes.

Lovino had carelessly left them on the bench in the smoking area, making things much easier for Arthur.

Once the cigarettes were destroyed, he placed them back in their resected packets and left the toilet cubicle where he'd been hiding. The packets weren't that hard to place back in their owner's bag. All Arthur had to do was simply decipher the language written on the packet.

'_Lisse Paris_' were obviously Francis' hence 'Paris', so he stuffed them back into the Frenchman's bag.

'_Dunhill_' was the next brand. If it hadn't been for the health warning written in what looked like Danish, then Arthur would have been completely lost as to who this packet belonged to.

Berwald's packet had the Swedish flag in the bottom left hand corner, so that wasn't difficult at all, and Lovino's was obviously the only packet left.

Arthur then had to put the blame on someone. He chuckled to himself and placed the scissors in someone's bag. Alfred's bag. He'd seen him go into the bag earlier, so he was sure it was his. And the American fool was always joking around, so he would be easy to blame for a stunt like this.

Taking his own packet of cigarettes from his bag, '_Extra Strong Mayfair'_ of course, he returned to the garden, setting Lovino's packet next to where he sat on the bench and took a cigarette from his own pack.

It wasn't long before Alfred appeared next to Arthur.

* * *

2:46pm

**_"Feliciano has come to the diary room."_**

_"Hello Feliciano."_

"Vee~ Hi Big Brother!" Feliciano waved into the camera in front on him enthusiastically.

_"What can Big Brother do for you today?"_

"I just wanted to speak to someone~ Ludwig went off to talk with that big scary man and I don't like him. He's scary. And Kiku is being really boring today. I tried to hug him and he went all funny and weird…"

There was a long pause before big brother's reply.

_"Who is the Big Scary Man Feliciano?"_

"That man from Russia. People think he's all really nice and kind and fluffy… well… most people do. I think they're just nice to him because they're scared that he will do something bad. I don't know what but you kind of get this feeling from him you know? Like… I don't know… you know?~"

* * *

3:22pm

**_"Mathais, Alfred, Arthur, Laura, Berwald, Tino and Elizabeta are in the garden. They have been talking about their jobs for seventeen minutes."_**

Mathias was lay stretched out on his front across a towel on the grass, a pair of dark sunglasses rested on his nose. Elizabeta and Laura sat beside him, idly braiding each other's hair. Arthur sat in a deck chair with Alfred by his side in a lawn chair, iced tea in a strong tanned hand, while in the daintier, pale hand, a cup of earl grey. Tino sat perched on Berwald's outstretched legs. The two had grown surprisingly close over such a short amount of time, and other housemates were baffled at the uncanny friendship between the menacing Swede and the happy-go-lucky Finn.

"So what kinda things do they sell there? Like, I dunno, clothes and stuff?" Alfred asked while raising his glass to his lips, then took a sip.

"Pretty much, yeah. It's sort of hard to explain. It's like a big complex that has a range of different floors, and different things are sold on each floor. I work in retail in the fashion department. It's my job to advise customers. Say if they're looking for a particular style of clothing, or want a whole new outfit, they come to me and I style one for them." Laura replied with a smile. "There's a tea room on the first floor – I think you'd really like it there Arthur – then the fashion floor on the second, Music and Video Games on the third and lastly, furniture on the top floor. It's sort of like a boutique in a way I guess."

"Oh awesome! We kinda have stuff like that in the US, but the one back where you come from sounds real classy and stuff."

"What about you Tino? I can't think of a job I can see you doing. Y'know, just by looking at you. Take Yao for instance, I can see him being like a martial arts teacher or a chef or something, or Arthur. By looking at the way he dresses, he's probably a history teacher or something!" Mathias said with a snort. "But you, I can't really tell…"

"I work in a bakery actually! It's not much of a job, but I do other things as well, seasonal things. Take Christmas time for example. I dress up as Santa at the local mall where the bakery is and put on a Santa's Grotto for all the little children! Or at Easter, I do an easter egg hunt. I get to wear little rabbit ears and a little tail and all brightly coloured clothing! It sounds really silly, but I like my job and the mall is happy to let me do things like that for every celebration. It keeps their publicity and the children love it!"

"Aw, isn't that just adorable?" Elizabeta chuckled, earning a shy grin from Tino.

"But wait, since you didn't disagree… are you actually a history teacher, dude?"

"No, I'm not. I just couldn't be mithered wasting my time arguing." Arthur said simply, taking a sip from his teacup and crossing one leg over the other.

"So what do ya do then? I bet you're some kinda spy, and you cover up your real job by working in… er… in McDonalds or somethin'!"

Arthur glanced at him for a moment and sighed.

"Do you ever think realistically? I swear if you ta-"

He was interrupted from a tapping in the glass and Francis motioned for the group to come to dinner.

* * *

"This is really good. It's just like a roast dinner, but with lots of fancy extras! Good job Francis!" Elizabeta praised Francis before taking another mouthful of the chicken.

"Don't thank just me alone, thank my little helper too." Francis winked and nodded towards Matthew, who was sat at the opposite end of the table, and received a shy grin in return from the Canadian.

"Oh, did you help make this?" Tino smiled. "I was wondering where you were actually, that explains why I couldn't find you."

"You were looking for me?" Matthew asked, sounding a little surprised.

"Yes! I wanted to ask you something, but I forget what it was now~ Silly me."

"We were talking about our jobs outside earlier… You're not a chef by any chance are you Francis?" Laura asked.

"Ah~ No, no. I just take an interest in fine foods. I've travelled around a lot too. I've been to Belgium actually. Beautiful place – a beautiful place for a beautiful woman may I add." Francis swooned receiving a blush and a giggle from Laura.

"Oh Francis please… not at the table." Arthur grumbled, stabbing his chicken harshly with his fork.

"Don't take your anger out on the chicken mon ami; it's not its fault that it 'as been cooked so well that it makes you jealous of someone as fine as me. A way with women and food-"

"Bollocks. That's complete and utter bollocks Francis and you know it. I also happen to know how to whip up a good meal too." Arthur interrupted sharply.

"And what about your love life? Cooking a good meal can only go so far when you 'ave no-one to cook for but yourself." came a retort with a flip of blonde locks and a smug smirk.

"That's none of your business. But I don't expect anything better from you. It's probably a different girl each night if this is h-"

This time, Arthur was interrupted, but not by Francis. A pair of hands slammed down onto the table causing the silverware and glasses to clink and rattle.

"Enough! Not at ze table when we are trying to eat! If you need to argue about petty things so badly, then vhy don't you continue this avay from ze table!?"

Housemates' heads whipped round to look at the angry German who was now stood with his palms flat on the table. Francis and Arthur both looked down at their plates, pouting and muttering under their breath like naughty school children who had just had a good scolding.

The rest of the meal passed quietly, with small discussion here and there.

* * *

**I'm sorry about just randomly ending it there, but come on, this part is SO long!**


End file.
